10 Things to expect during your mammogram

Let me tell you about what it’s like to get a mammogram. I know what you’re thinking: meh. But I’m breaking it down in a Top 10 list to make it more interesting for you!

10. Plan to wait in a separate waiting room. There are separate waiting rooms for people getting mammograms. Immediately upon checking in for your appointment, they'll call you back and you'll think, "I'm going to be in and out of here," but that's not necessarily the case. You're actually just getting called to sit in a different waiting room and it looks and feels a LOT like a living room which is actually pretty nice.

9. The nurse will take you to a locker room, of sorts, and ask you to undress from the waist up. You'll get a gown that ties in the back and a house coat. Both ugly, both not warm. They'll let you keep your shoes and pants on. I wore a really special bra for the occasion. I can’t explain why, it just made me feel better. You do whatcha gotta do. 8. They may put stickers on your nipples and maybe other places on your breasts. Just to keep things interesting. Or, as the official reasoning goes, so the technician can more easily identify your nipples and any moles in the final images. 7. It won't actually hurt that bad. I mean, it's hard to say if a mammogram really hurts. Pain is so relative. It's more uncomfortable and embarrassing than painful. I feel like it's less painful than getting blood taken. The hardest part is getting close enough to the machine. You have to look sideways but stand forward so your face ends up just as smushed as your boob does. 6. Expect to be called for supplemental pictures if you're in your 20s or 30s. This doesn't mean they see anything bad. It just means you have denser breasts and it's harder to see so they have to take multiple pictures. 5. You can’t wear deodorant. If you already have some on, you’ll have to wash it off. There are aluminum flecks in some deodorants can mimic *microcalcifications on the x-ray image.

*Microcalcifications are tiny specks of calcium that may be found in an area of rapidly dividing cells. If calcifications are grouped together in a certain way, it may be a sign of cancer. Depending on how many calcium specks you have, how big they are, and what they look like, your doctor may suggest that you have other tests.

Calcium in the diet does NOT create calcium deposits, or calcifications, in the breast! 4. If you’re my age then you’re probably going to be the youngest one in the waiting room. This is tougher than you think. Everyone in there had at least 20 years on me. They were moms, aunts, grandmas… There was a husband waiting with his wife, two women sitting beside their friend holding hands, a convict with her ankles shackled accompanied by her guard (although they weren’t sitting in the main area with the rest of us) and a few others sitting alone. It sucked. 3. Bring a snack and maybe a book.

…Unless you like reading outdated copies of Chatelaine. There's waiting involved. 2. You'll stand in front of a machine, and the nurse will position your arms in various positions. There will be bars for you to hold on to, no matter what position you're being contorted into. One time I did a position resembling that of the shopping cart dance move, which was exciting for me. 1. Expect that if you're NOT performing your own self-exams, I'm going to be mad at you. None of this is glamorous. It's scary. But the thing about breast cancer is that it's all about early detection. If you feel anything suspicious, talk to your doc and ask for a mammogram. If you detect breast cancer in the very early stages, it's a whole different ball game. You can avoid chemotherapy, radiation and all the other stuff that makes breast cancer so grueling.

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